Uh-oh

I love sweets, not sure if I’ve mentioned that before. I also hate flossing. This morning I looked in the mirror after brushing and saw a black speck on my front tooth. Hmm…. maybe it’s just a piece of something the toothbrush didn’t get, let me pick at it with my nail. Wait, what’s this funky groove?
Suger! it’s a cavity isn’t it?
I haven’t been to a dentist in about 6 years. And now I’m trying to find one that takes my health insurance. A co-worker recommended his dentist, but that guy doesn’t have an opening for a month, that’s how good he is!
Something tells me it’s bad idea to let the cavity sit another month, so I’m going to go see whoever has a quick opening, even if just to get the cleaning out of the way and maybe get the filling done in a month?
No more candy for me for a while.
BTW- scale still hasn’t moved.

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Books

I very rarely buy books brand new. I like to scour the local bookstores, most of which have used books and find something I’ve been wanting to read. I don’t like dealing with going inside Borders or Barnes and Noble. Too many people, too big, and entirely too many new shiny books to tempt me.
The times I need something specific I head over to Amazon or Half.com and pick up a used copy. Mostly this is to save money. The first of many moves 4 years ago, led me to realize that I had to get rid of a ton of hardcover books I’d spent way too much on. They almost all ended up donated to the library.
But last week, a friend sent me a link to some books on massive sale at Amazon. So I picked up my first new book in years. For $1.50. Nothing that had been on my list, but it sounded good. With the free Amazon Mom prime shipping that book was in my hand super quick.
It was cute, it was little, perfect to fit in my purse for some light reading on my commute. I was excited to say the least.
I took that book out of my purse a dozen times yesterday to just look at it. So pretty and shiney and new.
On my way out of the office yesterday I grabbed a pear and put it in my purse. To assist with my healthy snacking.
You know where this is going right?
Oh yes, I got on my bus, reached in and grabbed my new book.
And it was covered in pear guts!
The cover and the first couple chapters. I had no napkins in my purse (mental note: add napkins to purse) and tried wiping it off the best I could with old receipts.
But it was too late, now my book looks even worse than anything I’ve bought used.
Still a really funny book, but somehow I’m less excited about it now.
This just shows I need to keep snacking on cookies and chips!

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The everything blog

So this originally started out as my way to journal on the weight loss, but I’m thinking of just making it my everything blog.
Letting all my thoughts hang out so to speak.
Good idea? Bad idea?
Do you guys really care if I want to redecorate rooms? Sew things? Knit things?
Or just watch me not lose weight as I shove another donut down my throat? 🙂

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Tackling another big scary thing

I need to start budgeting. I can’t seem to figure out where the money is seeping off to lately. But there should be more left for me at the end of the month than there is.
Maybe because a lot of it is going to food?
So I am going to start tracking what I spend everyday.
I have a lot of redecorating/remodeling that I want and need to do around the house. So if I can just force myself to put $200 a month in the remodel budget, it will be a perk.
There is also the vacation home fund. Yeah, I know, a vacation home when I am bitching about money seeping away? But it’s because I don’t have a plan for it I think. So for that I am going to try and put aside $500 a month. I have a savings account, and a second checking account I never use. So those two are going to be deemed the home accounts.
It’s going to be hard, because I am such a retail therapy whore.

But something tells me, this will be more successful than the dieting thing.

On that front, today I had 2 chili cheese dogs for lunch. But see, there were hot dogs in the house that needed to be eaten, or else it would have been wasted money!

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Feeling very discouraged

Sometimes I feel like the harder I try to “diet” the worse I eat. I know that probably makes no sense, but it’s like when I make up my mind to alter my eating habits, it just makes me crave more junk food.
Last night I went out to dinner with 7 people who LOVE to eat. Which means I ate a lot, because there was a lot on the table and it was all really amazing. When dessert time rolled around I said I would only eat half of a piece of the pastry we got. But I ate a whole one. Because there was a ton left and it was like I couldn’t let it go to waste or something.
So this morning I woke up, tried to wear pants and couldn’t button them or sit down comfortably.
I’m at work in a dress today, that hits slightly above my knees, with my legs shaved only up to my knees. Because I couldn’t wear pants and didn’t have enough time to shave my legs all the way.
I’m craving a cupcake, but I won’t do it. I’ll have a nectarine instead.

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Blargh

Stepped on the scale this morning, despite all the moving it did during the week I am right back where I started. 122.6.

So discouraging.

Then I came into work and found out the owner of the company died this morning. So it’s just a very solemn environment.
I’m swamped again with work. And stressed out with my other half’s inability to understand my expenses.

So I binge. On a strawberry cupcake (590 calories, don’t ask the fat), a proscuitto and mozzerella sandwich, and a chicken chipotle and sour cream salad (which I am hoping to save for dinner).

My volunteer gig starts this afternoon also, but I don’t think I will have time to make the first meeting, which also makes me sad.

I want to scream and then eat lots of candy. It’s like the world is trying to keep me from losing weight.

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If I could go without having something in my mouth

I’m really trying here, but it’s been one giant week of stress and that doesn’t help me with eating well. And I have all these leftovers from dinners at work so my weekend has been ruined too. Yesterday was two servings of the curry beef and rice (each serving is roughly 750 calories), and some baguette with the most incredible dip from Trader Joes. The pimento cheese spread, which thanks Mr TJ’s checkout guy, you didn’t have to tell me would be a billion times better if I microwaved it!! Now I really can’t stop eating it.
And I munched on some random stuff around the house.
Today I finished up the curry beef for lunch, and am making a pact to not eat the pizza for dinner! Dinner will be soup dammit.
My scale had me slightly down earlier in the week, but yesterday had me up two pounds!
I’ll weigh in tomorrow morning I think, even though they claim Wed are better.
In exercise world, I haven’t done shit. I should hit the pool today, but after the hell week I’ve had I ruled this the weekend of sitting on the couch watching HGTV. Which led to many dreams about fireplace remodeling last night!
And yarn, the yarn that needs projects. That’s the next thing to tackle.

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